Trying my best to stay afloat in a sea of Nothingness

The following was going to be my first blog in a very long time. However, events transpired that led to me to write something else entirely. 

"As I set out to write this, I must admit to grave apprehensions regarding my ability to write at all anymore, in the sense of lucidly commiting my thoughts to paper/MS Word. I have not had too much time to write, and when I do have the time, I would rather sleep, or read, and I do not get to do that too much these days either. Not to mention the garbled mess my thoughts usually are these days. It appears that I think too much about too many things and all unfortunately at the same time. Not unlike the bevy of writhing women in an Eminem video I saw once. OK, so that does not sound so bad, does it? But it is. It had Eminem in it too, remember? Alas and most definitely Alack. Minus the Niranjan. See what I mean? Aaaargh.

So, in what will undoubtedly be a failed bid to regain a sense of focus, I am attempting to write again. Meaning, I shall probably lapse into laziness shortly."

Hmmm... I liked the Niranjan bit.

Disquiet.

It occured to me that one little dot at the end of a little word like 'disquiet' can make it seem so much more ominous. Two would have been odd and three are just funny and trifle melodramatic... whoops. or whoops..

GREAT opening paragraph for a blog that hasn't been written in over a year and a half. 

I have just been lent a book recommended to me with the following statement: If you have even a slightly pessimistic bent of mind or even a hint of a streak of pessimism, read this book and.. (Two dots, that must be odd. Here I forget what else was said. The general gist was that it would seriously screw up a person with an inclination towards morbidity)

I am perusing it now, and am skimming over some of the statements that the author (whom I expect to write a bit more about shortly) has penned, and which, in turn my friend has penned again at various places in the book. 

Hmmm...lets see now, 

"The universe isn't mine; it's me"  - Well, okay, sounds like something Vijay Mallya might be found saying. 

" I carry my awareness of defeat like a banner of victory" - That does affect me. Nice.

"I bear the wounds of all the battles I avoided" - Too bloody true. 

"Wise is the man who monotonises his existence, for then each minor incident seems a marvel" - I like.

And so far, what affected me the most: "The only way to survive in this world is by keping alive our dream, without ever fulfilling it, since the fulfillment never measures up to what we can imagine."

Enough! This is a spiralling pathway winding downwards into dizzy dispondency!

I can already say with a marked degree of certainty that I am going to enjoy reading this book. And maybe depress myself a little bit. 

Lost it ?

I have a sinking feeling that I have pretty much lost my will to write much. Or I am just so lazy I can not be bothered to write a dashed blog. i am pretty sure it is the latter, though I have a certain uneasiness regarding the former. Anyhow, I think this opening paragraph pretty much paraphrases what I seem to (re-) write over and over again - I shall certainly make an effort to be regular with my posts! :D

My life seems to have been a lot more sedate lately, enlivened of course by the fact that I recently got married! But overall, y'know? Perhaps i'm vegetating before my next great story? I wonder. I mean tons of things have been happening in my life. Quite a few of them I can attribute to alcohol :) I seriously wonder if I will one day regain the heights of funny I reached during the Bandipur trip, say. I realise I am now more careful with my jokes which at one time were pretty....irreverent?

Anyway, campus is having a reunion, and I dunno if I shall be able to make it, which sucks big time. I have had such a ball there. From what I gather quite a few of my friends are gonna be there which makes it worse! Mere kitne pyaare dost hai vaise. Especially my best pal Major. We used to do this dance on campus, perhaps you may know it - the "Just Chill Chill" song? :D
I was at a party recently where within ten minutes of my arriving, some random guy started throwing up and I had to help take him home, after helping him down 8 flights of stairs where him, me and another guy who was helping him nearly overbalanced a few times, while inebriated gent goes like oh I am so embarassing, and Who are you? and Why dont I learn?
Anyway, all that later, the Chill Chill song was on, and before I could stop myself, I was on my feet jumping away to glory in the dance sequence Major and I have immortalised (at least in our memories). Bahut mazaa aaya sabhi logo ko :)

New years is around the corner and I do not have a clue what to do. :(

Im back!

i am back blogging after so long, I think I have just beat my own record. Wheeee! Anyhoo, I am in the office right now, and instead of actually working( there is this blasted proposal I am "working" on, where I have to blaady well do a complete financial analysis, which makes me wish I had paid a lil more attention in class... Into each life some rain must fall...) I have been doing a whole lot of other things. For instance house hunting. I moved to bombay to work, and while we were provided with a guest house for the training period, el honeymoon being over, time to move out and find a place of our own. So been chasing brokers like no tomorrow, at the moment! But, at the risk of premature exultation, I am happy to say I have sort of finalised a flat close to work today and just have to meet the owner to finalise the deal.

The second thing I have done today is discuss my whole loan nonsense with the admin dept of the bank and have decided to transfer it to my bank. I have also spent a lot of the morning fretting about the huge pay cuts because of all these blasted expenses. What with the loan repayment and the tax planning, I have decided to take up an alternative career. Begging.

I have also been playing a few flash games since the morning, my personal favourite of which would have to be "suicide puppy". Choose the angle of launch and the power and you launch a puppy that basically falls in a big bloog spattered mess. :D

Oh and on the personal front there have been two interesting developments. I finally bought myself a new phone, the Motorazr V3i, which is pretty sweet to look at and has pretty decent features. I also got it rather cheap! The other acquisition is the reason my fingertips look like overripe plums. You guessed it- A new guitar!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I would love to write some more, but kaa karein, dooty pe jaana hai. waaa.

Its been interesting...

Well, it has been quite some time since i last wrote, (and I do feel I repeat myself there) so this is a slightly weird moment. So much has happened in the few months that have gone by that this post is unlikely to do justice to all the good stuff, so perhaps I shall do no more than a cursory examination of the past! SO what should I write about? I dunno really, random snatches of memory fly around like, well, flies. There was the sports meet played between IIM K and B, which for me, was a big disappointment, considering how disastrously out of form I was! There were all the crazy days doing bloody Proj Fin work, which seemed to be hurled at us like a steady stream of abuse! Then the dashed placement thingy happened, which was just unreal. Then I started this whole travelling thing which seems to still be carrying on. And in a few days, a couple of weeks actually, will have to set off for Bombay, and work.

When we had the alumni meet a few months back on campus, some senior just crashed on the bed and was like - "Oh the roof, oh the bed, oh the room, oh that fan, oh that desk...how I miss the view...ahhh" I mean, I was like okay, just a leetle bit over the top eh? But I kinda know what he meant. That was just one unbelievably great place to be, and I met some truly fascinating, truly smart and some really funny people there.

Well, enough whining, good news for me on the book front, recent birthday equated to loads of books! And a rather fun birthday party, which I had after a long time, actually. Will write about that soon enough!

This one is from Indore...

I was justr checking up the comments people leave on my blog and stuff, when I came across this weird one about "hey came across your blog and it looks like you need some sort of education(????) so here is a link to a site you can do a distance MBA from"!!!! Or something like that, you get the general gist. I am in an MBA program. I mean, what, eh?

Well, I am in IIM Indore right now, for Iris 2005, and am having a very good time. My team was shortlisted for an event and I wanted to take part in the quizzes and stuff. Hence, four days away from college! In addition to the three spent travelling, I mean. And earlier this month, moi was in Kovalam for a couple of days! This is the good life!

Now, this is my first time at IIM Indore and my first impression is that of space. It is a huge campus, spread over 180 acres, or so my sources tell me, though much of it is yet to be developed. I was always curious about the place because of all these stories people tell, plus the whole "newer IIM" thingy. I really like their auditorium which is pretty good looking! And their main buildings aren't to be sneezed at either. But I think in terms of general architecture, our campus at K wins it by a bit. I guess I may be biased but I am in love with the way the campus has been designed. These guys here have a huge advantage in terms of space, which means that there is a huge amount of stuff they can do here. Our place is a bit off there because of being right on top of the hills. They just moved here last year, so they have not really had too much time to do stuff. I guess when they clear the scrub, and finish the landscaping, this is going to be a truly awesome campus.

I took part in Labyrinth - one of their main quizzes. Now they had held online prelims for this earlier, and were holding another round of prelims here. This was special because I was basically a one man team. The other group from my place had already qualified online, and there was no one else for me to team up with, the others being busy with the insurance simulation game that I was supposed to be a part of, but ran away from to take part in the quiz! The best part is that I qualified, which I felt really happy about! And I was doing fine till the end of the second round but completely mucked up in the third..I hate connects, what can I say?

Lotsa informals and a party tonight! Yay! Lets see how it goes! Ta.

Ahhhh!

Back in college after the term end break! Back home, the comp was on the blink, so I sat and read and read and read....ahhhhh the life! It had been so long since I actually had the time to just "relax without guilt"! And I ate like a particularly disgusting pig. And enjoyed myself no end:-D

The thing with this place is it tends to degenerate into labour camp sometimes! Case in point - THE WHOLE FREAKING LAST TERM. So, on the train I was wondering what wonderful surprises were there in store for me on arriving at Calicut. The tension was heightened because, as mentioned above, the comp was on the blink at home, and had not had the opportunity to check my mail elsewhere. So I arrived at 9:30 in the morning at college, went for registration, and saw a class scheduled for 10:30. Great. And the whole coming week was packed as well. Durn..

As if that was not enough, I had a serious dharam-sankat kind of a situation regarding a couple of subjects. I was completely clueless whether or not to drop or take these electives. I had to take a decision by the end of the week, and was practically running about clucking like a chicken minus the head. I also had decided there were some things that needed finishing. Like going to my pal JC's to play GTA San Andreas on his system. (Every day that game gets even more fascinating!) On top of that, the first lot of the exchange students had arrived, these from France, while more from Germany and Sweden were to follow. As if this was not enough, this term and the next are the run-up to the final placements which means that preparation has to start in earnest.

So much to do! And no easy way out of this! So I dropped the couple of courses, went and played GTA, and in general got some material to prepare. THe upshot is that I now finally have got time for my own reading on weekends. Thank God! Back to campus news, the juniors just arrived today, and college is teeming with junta all over again! Campus was kind of very quiet for a bit back there! Hope to have a party soon! Almost gone out of my mind with ennui! It does not help a bit that my friends who have gone abroad on exchange appear to be having one continuous party! The lucky stiffs!

I also hope to figure out how to use this darned shoutcast thingy which Nitai was using for broadcasting Kdio. I think I shall need an older version of winamp. Dash. Still I really hope I can do this show - I wanna host a little radio show for just a few guys here on campus, and hope it works out soon! Plus I sincerely hope the Rock Night becomes a reality(finally!). Just did not have the time to do anything last term. Hope and pray this term is far, far better.I mean so far so good and all that, but you never know what these sadists here at MBA concentration camp come up with!